As I was writing what I am appreciative for this morning in my journal, I reflected back to some of the experiences I have had in my life. One in particular came to my mind and I want to share it here, with you. My hope is that as a community on our beautiful planet Earth, we may come to respect and understand each other better. Disclaimer – it is a sad story.
When I attended university I volunteered at two locations. One was at Ronald McDonald House and the other was at the children’s ward across the street at the hospital. If you are not aware of what Ronald McDonald House does, it is a charity that helps house families who live too far from the hospital, and who have sick children in need of help.
One weekend struck me as a turning point in my life. I want to thank this man for his strength as I have no idea where he is in the world, but my heart goes out to him.
It was a late Friday evening and I was checking in a family to Ronald McDonald house. The usual house manager tasks, with nothing out of the ordinary. I was introduced to the man and his sister-in-law and was told his wife was in the hospital, pregnant with twins. I did not know at the time that she was not doing well.
I learned throughout the weekend, that the man was from Sweden and his wife from a small town in Ontario. They were in town to visit her family. I also learned they had a beautiful love story, where they had met unexpectedly and she moved to Sweden to be with him. They got married and now she was pregnant with their first – a set of twins.
I finished my weekend shift as house manager, and did not think anything of it. You meet so many families and so many amazing people. It is a privilege to help them. I went about my crazy university lifestyle week: studying, classes, labs, working (need grocery money) and volunteering at the hospital. That is where I heard from one of the other volunteers about a woman who had died during childbirth.
I was assigned as house manager once again the following week. The same man was there and I was told during my update, that his wife died and that the twins were being cared for at the hospital. They did not know what was going to happen with the infants as they were in NICU. I realized that the story I heard at the hospital was the same family I was helping at Ronald McDonald House. It was an eye-opening experience for me. Usually you see people in one capacity, you do not get the full back-story. In this case, I had the whole story and it broke my heart. They had such a beautiful love story! And hopefully his kids will make it too.
On the Sunday, when my volunteer shift ended, I got the update about the family. The twins did not make it. I had no idea where the husband was. I wanted to give him my sincerest condolences. Then I thought, maybe he would rather be alone? He just lost the love of his life and his family. I was so unsure at that point. I opted to write my condolences on a card and leave it for him when he returned to the house. Another manager would be taking care of his sign-out.
As I was walking back to my off-campus housing, I passed by a pub. I saw a man out on the patio. I did a double take and low and behold, it was the husband. I wanted to sit with him and just be with him to let him know there are other people who care and that we are here to support each other. But, then I saw him crying uncontrollably over his beer. I didn’t know what to do. I was not sure if he even knew who I was or that he would appreciate anyone around him. I started crying myself, so I silently stepped away.
That moment in time is etched in my brain forever. I remember how beautiful the sky was in the early twilight. How gentle the breeze, the soft light illuminating from the pub and the iron chair and table where the husband sat with his head in his hands, crying over a beer. I could empathize.
So, unfortunately, it was a sad story. However, there is a lesson in every moment in time, in every experience. And I would like to thank this man and the family I saw for a brief moment because I learned so much from them.
What I learned from this man is that, one, he was still there. Crying, but even that will pass with time. If he is still there, he has a purpose.
Secondly, he had great moments with his wife before any of this happened.
And finally, he loved someone and someone loved him in return. That is a life well-lived already! It has been well over a decade now, and I see that there are many people living a life without love and that is the hardest life there is.
Also, life is short. You never know what will happen. Plan for a future, but live well in every moment.
That is what he taught me. I hope wherever he is, that he is living a great life.
Count your blessings each day. If you are healthy, be grateful. If you have a home and a family, say thank you. Make lists of what you are grateful for. Say a prayer, meditate, and focus on the good, because life is too short to pay attention to all the bad stuff.
